Lawyer grasping for straws

Actual line of questioning during a trial:

Q: Doctor, before the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be sure, doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nonetheless?
A: It is possible, I suppose, that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Sitcoms and Windows

This is real. And real bad. The two Friends stars travel to MS headquarters to talk to Bill Gates about promoting W95. Hilarious antics ensue (not really). However, I didn’t/couldn’t watch the whole thing.

So Friends is as old a W95. Let’s date other sitcoms and Microsoft OSs.

Cheers MS-DOS
Simpsons Windows 1.0
South Park Windows 2.0
Seinfield Windows 3.0
Frasier Windows NT
Parenthood Windows 95
Will and Grace Windows 98
Malcolm in the Middle Windows 2000
Scrubs Windows XP
The Office Windows Vista
The CollegeHumor Show Windows 7
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Windows 8

Cow power

Collecting cow farts in a backpack. No this article is not from the Onion. Researchers propose to fit a backpack on cow and insert a tube into its, … <ahem>,  “digestive tract.”

After the incredulity and laughter, we had two thoughts: (1) What will PETA do when it hears about this? and (2) Is it cost effective? We will have to wait on the answer to (1). But we can get some idea about (2).

A cow produces 300 liters of methane per day. According to this government site, the residential price for natural gas on 14 Feb 2014 was $9.76 per 1,000 cubic feet. Finally, there are approximately 28.3 liters per cubic foot.

300 liters / day X 1 cubic foot / 28.3 liters = 10.6 cubic feet / day

10.6 cubic feet / day X $10 / 1000 cubic feet = $0.10 / day

The gross return is one thin dime per cow per day: . Unfortunately, the cost of harvesting this valuable natural resource is much greater. No wonder “Pablo Sorondo, INTA’s press officer, says the project isn’t ongoing.”